YEEESH. SHEESH. i feeel 'asdoifwhnejposd. so empty. i really ought to be taking a bath now. oh gosh i feel so ijcrnv hgst798ew0&*#(UJNfc;. i havent touched homework and people say there's a lot. ARGH. i dont want to do them okay. but i have to and that makes me a very aiosdvjn[w8390 person. and knowing i have theory tomorrow tomorrow makes me even more aoiurfhvnpaioew. and my piano teacher gave me more theory and she's coming over to check tomorrow which is so q48y913hqvfgh. and i keep typing wrongly. 9edaiuorghfcb!!!


iapeucbfaov;siuewhjsdq[9ewgnvhbasdo;ijhevw8bnoimz OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!



yeesh now what's wrong with me. im not sad im not happy im not angry im oiupawbnc avbgojtfed. stoned, empty. asnpcfioubnecsiuagb xzujklcxzm!


and there's choir and tuition which makes things more asoidghvbewoj,z. i need to punch something. i need to go to some secluded spot and scream my lungs out. something like that. oh no im going crazy. but i dont really care.


stargirl is a nice nice nice book. (: stargirl is my ultimate idol. i aspire to be like her. oisaUdnvpcoisz vizdof.

STOP FOOLING YOURSELF ALREADY, CANDIA.
start accepting it.

im tired. my neck feels so heavy. i feel sick. ):


its twelve on the dot now! AM.


sometimes people ask me what i want to be next time and i always find myself shrugging. i guess no job really interests me till a great extent. i dont even have an interest in a particular thing. i remember when i was young i used to want to be a teacher. because i thought it was fun to use the markers on the whiteboard. last time, i thought it was really cool to mark with a red pen too. then there was another period of time i wanted to be a maid because i thought housework was fun. i was probably five to six years old. and for a while i wanted to be a cashier because handling money, pressing that button for the money tray was damn cool then. i also wanted to be a writer once. i was primary three or four. when i was primary five i wanted to be an artist cum pianist cum poet, whereby i would draw or paint a picture, compose a piece of music to accompany, with a poem. i wanted to be a lawyer too at the beginning of this year because of the jodi picoult books being all about law cases and being a lawyer seemed like fun.


just some random stuff. (:

today when i read the new paper i felt like whatevering the whole of it.

WHATEVER,
WHATEVER,
& WHATEVER!

>:(


anyway im in a crappy mood now. complications. just. suck. why cant things just turn out well huh! maybe this doesnt affect me and its none of my business either but well, im just like that.


sec one life has thus far ended. this is very sad, because i miss everyone so much! i miss 1A to bits and bits, going through so many things as a class. i remembered at a certain part of the year 1A was really disunited(?) and cliqueish and there were so so many problems. but hey, we went through all that! (: blah, i miss the sec one life. you know the sec one life is probably going to be the nicest year because sec two onwards all of us would have to study doubly hard and there wont be so much time to slack anymore. thats really sad too. but i think sec one life ending is still sadder.

)))))))))))))))))))))))))))):


oh gosh i feel like going to one corner and sulk and wallow in self-pity. i shall go and find all the things that are worth pitying about. sometimes its nice to do that.

oh no, maybe im deranged! o:


i went to orchard on saturday and there was this beggar outside ngee ann city. so pitiful! he was an old man sitting there on a mat. then this middle aged man went to donate some money and the beggar looked so, so grateful. i feel so sad for him. even now as i think of it. how did he end up there? was he abandoned by his children? or perhaps he had no family? i now i sound really really dramamama-ish and a tad too exaggerated but i felt like writing an ode to him right there and then.


and yuanjing was somewhere in orchard too, claiming she saw me when she was in another building, causing me to run and hide because i looked seriously like shit. all her fault. but i really thought she was there because she said i was hiding behind some pillar which i REALLY was. -_____-



tuitions and piano lessons and choir practices and homework make a MARVELLOUS holiday dont you just agree? mmhmm. okay, maybe choir practice is not so bad.


my mum says i shouldnt slack and laze around with my eyes glued to a book because its bad for health. instead, i shoudl do something productive, like housework, cleaning my room, or homework. today i tried very hard to prevent myelf from doing any homework or tuition homework or piano theory because its the only day where i have it free but i dont know whats up with me and guilt.


speaking of piano theory, my exam is less than a week away! lets see, how much do i know? barely enough. i dont know any of those whatever terms. except maybe the grade one to two ones. oh gosh.


lizards. i hate lizards. lizards you suck. lizards should be extinct. i dont know why lizards are even living. to piss people off? to disgust people? oh, i know, to eat our mosquitoes and blah blah blah. but wont some baygon or off do?


iln,cskmlxiucdzghp90349q2!


oh no, im still in a crappy mood. im feeling frustrated, disgusted, angry, sad on behalf of other people's problems. why? because im just like that.

yuanjing says:
guess what,candia
'# CAN DIA says:
what
yuanjing says:
im not a human
yuanjing says:
i was an animal
'# CAN DIA says:
mmm
'# CAN DIA says:
wow
yuanjing says:
i still am
yuanjing says:
guess what candia
'# CAN DIA says:
what
yuanjing says:
i just lied to you
yuanjing says:
im a human
'# CAN DIA says:
wow
'# CAN DIA says:
mm
yuanjing says:
i lied to candia
'# CAN DIA says:
amazing





yuanjing is too bored.



i would rather be, than to have piano in approx thirty minutes. or tuition later. :/



anyway, 1A WON BCA!
but do we deserve it?


last day of school's over, school's over. thats so sad. i want school. of course, school with free periods the whole day.



goodbye im having piano soon.

hmph. ive been trying to fix my tagboard but to NO AVAIL :/

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULENE!(:


today's a fun day and blind mice rocked but mr khoo just had to come spoil it! i kept hitting people at the wrong areas. hoho. but anyway, the point is, it was fun.


hmm. what else? suddenly i cant think.


last day of school tomorrow and that's so sad! im also very jealous of singyi who's going to MOS tomorrow to watch the click 5 cos her sister won it on 987! so unfair! no wait, it isnt but it just seems to fit there. oh, and why is there homework during the holidays? thats so ___.


daddy's coming back tomorrow night.


oh! yuanjing has hothot hair. and the engagement ring thing was so funny! :D


i wish i could stop typing like that because it makes everything looks so random which okay fine, it is. the year's going by way too quickly. look, tomorrow--last day of school then that's it. GOODBYE SEC 1 LIFE. whoa. too fast okay. just way too fast. its like the exams were hardly over.


its so depressing. sigh.


i must say that silent scream wasnt scary at all in fact that email i received a while back about abortion with those pictures are way more scary. yushu was bored watching it she was even yawning.

i think that nowadays im losing my patience faster than before. especially with my mum. i get pissed at home so often. :/


stupid insect stop crawling all over the laptop screen. >:(

i came home very very tired and exhausted today, dozing on the bus even. actually i wanted to sleep at 9.30 but then i felt compelled to use the laptop since i didnt use it yesterday. i feel like an 80 year old with my joints hurting and stuff. especially my right elbow, when i straighten it. -_- im STILL tired so i'll sleep after this.

went to julene's house today and blind mice was fun! yay. ginger is cute. and her stairs her stupid stairs made me fall and bruise myself. okay nevermind i always fall down anyway.


yesterday was fun at orchard with singyi too. (:

i think tomorrow is some check dont know what day that means our attire will be checked or something like that. this means i have to pin up my fringe to look like an idiot. okay fine.


ooh just now near my house there was a fire then i think it was quite serious so the fire was like illuminating part of the sky. so cool okay. so interesting also. tomorrow i have to wake up early which sucks. so now i will sleep. tonight, im not an insomniac. tonight, i shall be an outsomniac. okay whatever.

okayokay. new blogskin. but some parts of it are screwed AGAIN. heck.

hmmm. julene's birthday is freaking near like ahhhh. i dont know what to get. let's see she gave me a turtle. i remembered i was wondering if it was a live one. HA.



varsha didnt go for choir today. ):


hmm.


i want to go shopping. like shop and shop and shop. i must walk into at least one shopping mall this weekend okay, and stay there for at least two hours. gah.


suddenly, there's nothing to blog about. okay today was best practice day. deborah signed us up for some thing then singyi and julene dont want to do so i did. what else um, i had choir today then i was really really tired so i think i was nodding off then ms chye went 'are you alright' and suddenly i just jolted out of slumber and became very very awake. the tables were arranged weirdly in class er there was cyber wellness thing today then i had tuition then i went for dinner then i ate tofu beancurd and fries. uh yeah.


singyi and her scary smile is so scary but i will not be scared even though the smile so scary with her eyes attemting to penetrate through my entire being.


boonhui sorry i lost your yellow balloon!


oh and i bought a new deck of UNO cards. so yay me. (:

its raaaaaaining now. the thunders were rather loud but im not really scared of thunders though. today's a school holiday and there's piano in approx an hour and forty five minutes. gah. dried cranberries are nice stuffs. :D

yesterday in school there were talks again they were okay except that the NYAA thing was a total humdrum. and like ajlkvshnusd$%^&*!!! i lost my deck of UNO cards. ahh. okay that means i have to buy another deck. no biggie.

nothing significant really happened recently. maybe there is but im too lazy to think. oh, that laziness!

im feeling so hot. im perspiring. so i'll on the fan. i shall go find more nice blogskins later. i want to change the current one. i dont like how the bottom part is green then everything becomes so hard to read. hmm.

oh, and there's this stupid popup about scripts running at some page--joseph-chan.blogspot.com. like wth? its been popping up for quite some time already. so irritating.

hmm.

im posting the jillion jillion thing. this is the jillion jillion thing.

er, um. today so boring because we were stuck in the hall with talks after talks. then there was choir. yuan yuan's nose produces noodles. like eew. she's so disgusting. and varsha, oh varsha, her hair attracts them!


empty's playing now! so nice, so beautiful.


uh, singyi she doesnt want to tell me something but she wants me to continue to ask her.


my name is anisuka/anisukaka/anitaka or some exotic japanese like that.




i'll play my yoyo now. my hand is interesting.

JULENE

julene is hot.
but julene isnt so hot now because she has a swollen eye.
AW.
but she is still hot.
her birthday coming you know.
24 october.
you must like julene.
cos she bathes for five minutes.



actually i just have nothing to post about. so im posting crap. isnt that so funny? HAHAHAHA.


shut up.



school's starting tomorrow again. er, good? maybe. anyway, the weekends were fun. saturday at tho's with 9jn sans phyllis and lucas. jorene HAD TO freak me out with final destination. all that gory. oh and fishes suck. i hate fishes beacuse my old fishes had their eyes eaten by one luohan fish in my fish 'pond'. so they became eyeless. snakes are no better because they are snakes. name game rocked. sunday i jogged with joey and talked lots and lots. then we went to PP and blah blah blah im so lazy to type.

wait im supposed to have nothing to post about.
RIGHT.

the rest of the results back today! and im happy! :D

blah. today--i hated it as much as it rocked. i feel really aljdh@&3#*(jsdk in school. what the heck, its all im feeling these days in school. like nothing matters.


im confused. dang, im just confused like shit.







anyway, i really dont know if i should bother. i mean, its so common now yes? and why dont you just tell me? im tired, really. im sick and tired of all these. its like i dont know for sure if whatever i do is okay. when it happens, i hate it. it's all my fault correct? i dont know what happened. it wasnt like that. because suddenly everything i do seems to be wrong. maybe i just dont get it. but how can i when you dont tell me?

hmph. i better not enter an emo phase.

so, results are out. bad, good, average. there's science, history and maths tomorrow. ive decided not to think about it. and stop worrying because its pointless.

my chinese sucks. it downright sucks. but then again, it never rocked.


i want to know what's wrong with me. seriously. these few days, im just really screwed inside. maybe i dont show it, but yeah. i hate this. but i know it'll go away, like how it always manages to. i feel really, really blah. i think i CREATE those problems. i mean, like they probably arent even problems to begin with, maybe just trivial matters, but i just have to go and make a big deal out of them and turn them into something serious and so i start feeling down. so this is all my fault actually. maybe i just think too much sometimes.

oh dear, im getting moodswings. D:


i think that all songs carry feelings with them. as in those personal feelings. like some songs really just remind you of certain memories. i guess its related to the time you keep listening to the particular song. and the things that happen during that period of time! for some reason, it ends tonight makes me cry.

i like give until there's nothing left to give by relient k. ;D

oh i realised when i was getting my results i was silently singing that song and i realised it was the wrong song to sing at the wrong time. give give give until there's nothing else.

hello.

i want those marks.


anyway, balls of fury's a hilarious movie. and i DIDNT spill my popcorn. but when i left, there was popcorn stuck to my shorts.the queen has lovely ballet shoes. wednesday was nice. (: ohoh! i met jorene at the bus stop at the paya lebar mrt. HAHA.

yushu has a beautiful wallet alright. ;) thank god i didnt laugh during assembly today. ALMOST. but didnt. must be boonhui looking so fierce lah. :/ marie's finally updated her blog! i shall read later.

yeah, choir today. varsha's a walking comedy who sings marvellously. her bitch friends rock. yuanjing stoned as usual.




singyi dont be sad! :)

FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY.

so here's a skin. GAH.

its twelve thirty. wonderfully late. who's fault? the stupid skins.

-________________________-

sometimes i just want to say SCREW YOU right at your freaking face. but you know what? i dont. because i cant although sometimes i would really love to.

please dont ask if its you because even if it is, i wont say it is.

im not in a really really good mood now. all the negative moods just had to come crashing down. thanks for ruining my night. thanks a lot.

yay, you did a marvellous job.

whatever.

SO THEY'RE OVER.

amazingly, i dont feel deliriously elated as i thought i would be. instead i feel more tired.

but vivo was fun! let the pictures do the talking! LALALA. at starbucks yushu so scary. suddenly stoned. but she got her onion rings then it was okay! hmm. so many cedarians there!

popcorn explosion.

i think nanny diaries quite boring. but boonhui and singyi thought it was okay. julene and yushu were making out. actually not yushu. julene was attempting to. i was very restless lah.

singyi carried the same bag as me today! COOL PEOPLE WITH COOL BAGS.

i feel bored. and boring. AH.