EVERYTHING IS IN A MESS. IM A MESS.

ugh. i cant understand myself. i hate myself.

look, its like 1242am and then im blogging. you know what?? im like 100percent awake. i tried to mug but nothing went into my brain. im the only one awake in the house. my house is like so quiet as if ive murdured eveyone.

and, AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!! i want things to go back to normal!! how it had always been!!! really, im yearning for those times. pleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease!!! let it happen, make it happen. its making me so DOWN. WHY MUST IT BE LIKE THAT??? whyohwhyohwhyohwhy??? its UBER SADDENING okay. everything that was once great is now going down down down and down

ooh, and 1/3 of the year has passed.

tomorrow is labour day and im going to the chalet to celebrate my cousin's birthday.

even though the song playing on the radio is one of my faves, i dont feel happy. quite the contrary. i realise that so many things are happening.

and varsha, i hope you'll really cheer up. :)

i got really bloody pissed and angry just now. but yeah, i guess im okay now. was mugging yesterday and today for geog. and before you go"candia is so hardworking" let me tell you, i only completed like 2 miserable chapters. amazing yeah? mugging drives me crazy. it makes me TALK TO MYSELF. then my mum thought i was talking on the phone and scolded me for talking so long. when i was like, studying. stop laughing, people. its not funny.

seriously, im not like what you think. everyone will feel down at some point of their life so think positive. ;)

i realise that my mum thinks i can hear her even when i have my earpieces in my ear, tuned in to the radio. like in the cab on the way to my grandparents house (which is where i am at now) she kept talking about this and that and i swear she has NO IDEA that i cannot make out what she was saying. i tried to make my listening to the radio more obvious by adjusting and readjusting my earpiece over and over agin. she just continued. so i just nodded and nodded and looked at her as if i understood every word she said. yeah. my brother too. he keeps talking about some game. and keeps repeating my name if i dont answer him which is obviously because im listening to the radio. okay.

ms wee is SO NICE. she gave everyone TWO chocolate hearts!!! not one, but two!! for no reason some more!! it was nice, of course. then i tried to make singyi's more ugly. i tried to chop it and press it. so fun man. :D then during english, mrs lowe went siao. she mistook 1A as a zoo. she asked me what animal i was. she said she was the zookeeper. she tried to capture animals. she performed some magic tricks which was to open a brochure. you know, brochures are folded into small sizes so when opened, it becomes bigger. YEAH. then we were like cheering and clapping like they were SO great. she let us discuss for our brochure project then we made a lot of noise then she started pointing to the SPEAKERS and saying the classroom got CCTV, so we have to keep quiet. -_____-

oh, and gym i forgot to take out my socks so the guy was like, " your socks.." so embarassing. eveyone looking at me. yeah, i was being dumb.

and now, julene is at yushu's. i suppose they are doing retarded things. i told julene i was playing kungfu chaos just now and i was being the big boobs lucy. hahahahahahahaha. im laughing at something not funny. in other words, im being LAME.

yes, and it POURED just now when i was going home with jolene. she shorter than me then her umbrella water keep dripping on my whole sleeve again. i started splashing water on her then she splashed. YEAH, umbrella fight. =)

WHAAAAAAAAAAT ELSE huh???

er, er, yushu today tried to look for someone in 1O, supposedly a band member. then she made me tag along then she stood at the door waving like a dumbdumb. YUSHU, stop embarrassing me, please.

no, wait, julene says she's bored. at yushu's house, i mean. why should you be?? o.o

and i cant belive that, according to my brother, logan got SECOND LAST. excuse me, but SECOND LAST?? and smoky got last. kenai first, AGAIN.

LAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

today, i made singyi puke. aint that great??? of course, not LITERALLY.

oh, and yuan jing, you freaking stop pulling my tie!!!! stupid yuan jing, pull my tie till i look so retarded. yes, i know thats what you want. and im so glad i managed to pull yours too. :) wa lao, you also stop eating my sweets when you sit at my seat during chinese okayy??? so dumb. XD

after school me, julene and yantian had our mini magic show which was seriously cool. now, julene, lets disappear again, shall we?? :D

chelsea shall suck FOREVER~and ever and ever.

ah, and when my dad drove me to school today at the zebra crossing there i saw yushu and baohui crossing it, and my dad stopped for them.at first i was like "hurry up cross larh, walk so slow.." then i realised it was THEM.

JULENE, you stop being so mean. piano today was incredibly okay. as in, i didnt practise but i survived. i realise my piano teacher is a really nice person. and i feel so bad i dont put in effort in piano.
I REALISED GEOGRAPHY EXAM IS ON WEEK 8 NOT 7. cannot believe i thought it was week 7 all long so i was freaking out big time. my watch, barely a week old, has one million scratches on it.

i miss 9justnice SO MUCH!!!

PICASSO IS SUCH A WOMAN CHEATER~

anyway, SYF today. and varsha tried to prank call yushu and badi which was just plain DUMB. okay, and funny.

what the heck, i told my parents im using the com for homework purposes. and im here posting. i have to stop this. geog EXAM is coming, candia! and then i alwaysclaim i have no time to study but times like this prove otherwise. UGH.

Singyi was being a DUMBDUMBANANA today.

TODAY I WENT CRAZY. NOT CRAZY-SIAO, BUT MENTAL-CRAZY. YES.

YESTERDAY I WENT TO THE NATIONAL STADIUM AND RAN 6 ROUNDS TO PRACTISE THE 2.4 FOR FUN AND STILL MANAGED TO SPRINT AT THE LAST 100M AND RACE MY BROTHER AND PLAY BADMINTON. WHICH IS JUST SUPER WONDERFUL.

AND THIS MORNING I WOKE UP WITH BODYACHES WHICH, I REALISE, ISNT SUPER WONDERFUL. AT ALL.

FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE I DID NOT KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING WHEN I DECIDED TO JOG. yay, and i managed to study a bit of the geog and the constant reminder in my mind isnt si constant anymore. WAIT, IM NOT HEARING VOICES.

AND JULENE, DO NOT ASSOCIATE ME WITH BLADES JUST BECAUSE I READ A BOOK ABOUT CUTTING. I DO NOT CUT.

YUSHU, PLEASE TAG WHEN YOU COME TO MY BLOG OKAY??

today is sports day. yeah. BOUGAI didnt win but it still rocks.

anyway, i reached the TPY stadium at about 645. my father fetched me! :D i played scissors paper stone with him and i won so he has to fetch me. hee. it was bloody hot. sat with yushu and then she kept leaning against me and boon hui. made me hotter. then i told julene this is why im hot and started saying the lyrics of that retarded song. i was under direct sunlight and it was like burning my face up. i told yushu that i was afraid one side of my face would be blacker than the other after today. drank countless cups of milo and observed how hard poor cat was serving others. then me and jul kept climbing over the railing thing at the back. i know its damn bo liao but we WERE bo liao. i shouted a lot but surprisingly i didnt get a sore throat. then this RJC girl who i assume was an ex-bougai cedarian started to sort of lead us. she shouted like siao and put in so much effort. but we were LAST in the the cheering thing. what the heck. everyone was practically screaming. saw nat and ash and YT and badi do the relay thing. fourth. sigh. bougai didnt win anything. well, nothing first, i think. then felicia looked so cute in her cheerleading hairstyle, her hair especially. varsha looked so cheerlead-y. well duh, she IS a cheerleader.

AND TODAY WAS THE FIRST TIME I SAW YUSHU SHOUT SO MUCH. :) she was being extra-nice too, today.

after that we went to orchard. we is me, singyi, julene, varsha, yuanjing. by then all of us were bloody tired la. but we still went anyway. took a cab there to heeren. my dad and uncle were also at orchard at that time, so were varsha and julene's mums. then my dad said (last night) he shall play hide and seek with me and try to find me. 0.o me and julene saw the best damn thing and just like snatched the CD off the shelf. we took the NC16 version even though we knew we werent allowed to buy it. yeah, and we couldnt so we took the other version. avril has gotten so...PINK. =p then we ate at pasta mania. i shared a pizza with julene. then all of us talked about *****. lahaha. its always so entertaining to talk about her.

right after that we took neoprints. =D took quite a lot, like 4 times. we spent about 1 hour plus there. and yay, i took some with singyi alone which was so sweet. we saw many other cedarians at orchard and syahirah at the NP shop with her friend. including *gasp* MS FOONG. at orchard road,i mean, not the NP shop. i think she was shopping. probably at OG or something. okay then we walked around and around...varsha wanted to buy her wallet but then we dragged and dragged till she didnt. varsha and julene wanted to watch a movie but the rest of us didnt cause we were terribly bushed. thereafter, it was abbout 3 plus then singyi had to go back coz she has piano and varsha followed and me and jul and yuanjing were like WTH. so we went to heeren for fun and we saw varsha and singyi at the bus stop! so we sorta asked varsha to come with us cause we wanted to go to a wallet shop or something. so poor singyi had to go home alone. then we tried to be so drama and acted like it was the end of the world for us to leave her alone until she told us to shutup. haha. so we TRIED to look for a wallet but then there wasnt any nice ones. i think varsha was kinda disappointed. then varsha had to go home because i think she told her mum she was on the bus. lol. so we continued to go taka because julene wanted to go kino. AND JULENE CANNOT PRONOUNCE KINOKUNIYA. wow. after that was just lots of walking about then me and yuanjing were like so exhausted. julene stayed at taka cause i think her mum was there.

so then me and yuan jing decided to take a cab from paragon taxi stand cause we didnt know where the bloody hell was the MRT station. no wait, we did but we are lazy people!! XD

AND THUS THE OUTING ENDED. blah. now im so bored. -.- AND THERES THIS CONSTANT REMINDER WHICH IS FOREVER REITERATING IN MY MIND THAT THE GEOG MYES ARE IMMINENT. spit, it doesnt leave me alone!!!!!!! arh, ugh, oomph. and to find 10 DIFFERENT types of leaves by monday just makes me feel so...frustrated.

we were good friends
i was glad.
you were so fun,
one of the best friends ive ever met.
but then you started hanging out with someone else,
and i was forgotten,
we still talk,
but its different.
its not the same,
and i hate it,
this stupid game,
which hurts.
we WERE good friends
and now im sad.
i see you talking,
i see you laughing,
i see you sharing secrets.
secrets that were once only for me.
how could you forget?
i trusted you.

total randomness. haha. i can never be a poet, man.

OKAY. this morning i was sick. i was sniffling and tearing like siao. then people think i crying.

anyway, i CANNOT wait for tomorrow. going out! =) even though yushu is not going. FINE. i have decided to stop pestering yushu or beg her to go because i know she wont. and, that would make me irritating also. i hate irritating people. BUT, i hope she will go, still.

today passed in a blur. the lessons were just a mass of blur. chinese ms wee was showing us some stuff then me and natalie were trying to make fun of it. then maths test. was just whatever. i cant seem to bother about anything these days. EVERYTHING IS A BOTHER .

I'm close to losing my mind. All the lessons today were just alien stuff to me, they all don't make sense. I can't understand maths, I can't understand science, I cant understand english, I can't understand chinese. And geography, which MYE is imminent. And there's the IPW which just makes eveything worse.(Jolene, I hope you scolded sally.)
Choir test today. And the warm up varsha was'blub-ing' so funnily.
I realise the MYE is approaching. And I HAVEN'T studied. Eff it man, EFF EVERYTHING.

Red tears is a nice book. It makes me THINK. A lot. I felt really gloomy after reading it because I was pondering about myself. I realise I have a lot in common with emily, minus the self-cutting part. And of course, the top student part. Oh gawd, what am I doing, typing a book review here??? What the heck.

I WOKE UP AT 6.20 AND REACHED SCHOOL BY 6.45. I totally overslept. i woke up 25 minutes later than supposed. but hey guess what? i was still EARLYYY. so *clapclap*.

JULENE IS STILL ABSENT. shes suffering from tonsilities, whatever that is and gets to eat teriyaki chicken and watch totally spies. maybe i should get tonsilities. i shall ask julene.

and during SEL today, ms wee made us say one reason each why we like AND dislike ourselves. band-obsessed yushu said she likes herself because she plays the euphonium. right.

choir tomorrow and its THE CHOIR TEST. im so gonna fail. i know it.

i left my whole file and calculator in school today. what was i thinking? a shitload of rubbish. yes, sometimes i just think IM rubbish. seriously. like, i realise ive changed quite a lot since primary school to---i dont know what. and i sometimes feel really worried for myself. for what, i dont know. FORGET IT, ITS JUST CRAP. just a shitload of rubbish.

I CANNOT WAIT FOR FRIDAY!!!! =D

HELP!!!!!! im being attacked by Boredom!! its such a powerful monster that i cannot defeat!! Boredom has forced me to type this crap and rubbish!!

um, okay, whatever.

TODAY I SAW SINGYI'S NEW HAIRCUT which looks like mdm lim's. AHLOT. uncanny resemblance...ooh.

&& i was kind and good hearted today. 3 cheers for me.

anyway, today we got back our english compre and summary tests results after a goddamn period of time. yes, finally. and YUSHU WALKED WITH ME TO THE BUS STOP TODAYY!!! whee~. no la no la, is cause her IPW group going to salvation army so they walked the same direction. as me.

oink, and today after school sinyi and me we were linking both arms so we were like back to back. then i think she purposely walk forward which for me, is backwards then she was dragging me all the way. literally. then she made me fall eventually on the floor. like humpty dumpty minus the cracking part. WAHAHAHA.

then today i felt really hot in class, perspiring like what. it was raining but i was on fire. wait, it was raining and sunny at the same time. expecting to see a rainbow. okay...then during reading period this lil sparrow hopped into or class.

and while chatting to julene, i realise my msn is outdated so im going to update now i think.

GREETINGS, yes, and hello.

right, so YESTERDAY. rason's party SUCKED. to hell with that. GRRRR.

anyway, we met at the serangoon MRT. then i told bundy(esther woo) her hairstyle looked like mrs lowe's. note: hair style, not person. NO OFFENCE arh. but then of cause it looked MUCH MUCH prettier and suited bundy better. =) si lei stared talking about her darling orlando, i think. and then went to kovan cause he stay in KOVAN MELODY, the condo which jack neo keeps advertising. we went to heartland mall first coz a couple of us hadnt bought him a gift yet. so yeah, walk here walk there...walkwalkwalk.

so after that we went to his house but then he wasnt there. -_- what a great host he is. so we the 6a peeps just hanged arund for a while....yeah. then esther woo(bundy) and rachel and silei went to the MRT there to bring esther so. then left me and vic and steph. bored, we were, much. thus we followed the guys down like, for fun. they played b-ball and invited us but then you all know i suck at b-ball so i didnt play. steph proceeded to throw the chicken wing she had been eating for dunno how long, down, where a rubbish chute was. then like so fun. soo i threw her can of drink down. LOL. ooh, then it rained. no, drizzled. yes, esther and bundy and si lei and rachel joined us again. then we sat there and talked about dunno what. no, wait, they came then it rained. yeah. so cause it rained then we went to this waddling pool with a depth of 0.3m and took a nice pic. YAY.

so we went back to his house barefooted then we went to his room to wash our feet. and guess what, he still not then lah. so what-the-heck-ish. and when he FINALLY arrived he just like hello-ed to us, i think. cause i didnt really see him until he came out for a second time. (i was calling yushu cause she wanted to check if her HP's ringing tone was right. ==) then rason just left again to bring his DUNMAN HIGH friends. TOOT. so we were left to our own devices AGAIN. we were bored like what la. when his friends came, he just kept talking to them and entertaining them. eff. only occasionally poking out of the door to like see what we were doing. even MT and the other guys were ignored. like, so friggin boring. so some of us started shouted nicole is here or something. i think nicole is his GF. WTH. ya..then esther kept saying NI COLE, WO COLE, DA JIA COLE. then all of us were LOAO..LOL. then is like we DAMN DAMN bored can. and rason doesnt even bother. all his DH friends are like so.........whatever-ish. but i dont give a damn la. we ate almond jelly and esther didnt know what it was. LOL. then we talked about how bored we were and stuff. like rason doesnt even give a shit about us. WTF. so bundy(ithink) suggested leaving the party cause it was beginning to suck a great deal. so we attempted to leave but then rason's mum was like dont leave la, still got pizza and 2kg cake. so..reluctantly agreed.

waited like dunno how long. actually, i dont see the point of waiting for food be cause i was bloody full. esther wanted to go to the loo cause she drank a lot of lime juice before. then i told her only pregnant ladies drink them. HAHA. then us 6a peeps started talking about how we wasted our time coming her which was so boring. we were bloody pushed aside. MT was saying how he wasted his money to get him a gift. so we just sat there lamenting and complaining.... all of us were so freaking pissed off. ugh. eff.

then when the cake arrived i didnt want to eat but then was kinda forced to. i shared with vic. then, we left the party for good, for better fun, for bugis.

when we went down we saw him and he was all: " oh your going arh? ok, byebye."

bloody hell. KNN. what the heck.

SOME CLASS GATHERING. with like, not even half the class present, with his DH friends. and us pushed aside. all to give him face. go die la.

BUGIS WAS CERTAINLY, DEFINITELY, DUH-LY, OBVIOUSLY more fun. like, x100.

when we walked to the MRT me and steph were talking about mrs tan and mrs lowe.on the MRT, si lei kept saying like so smelly so smelly. then me and bundy couldnt even smell anything. then everytime she said we laughed.. AHAHAHA. silei anyhow step on people's feet then i told her their face blackblack. LOL. she kept falling when the MRT stopped and then it was always ensued by her laughing. contagious siah. so i laughed. then me and rachel started talking about prostitutes in geylang...how i once saw them wearing revealing clothes and rachel said she saw one pros approaching an old men. ok, 'nuff said.

finally reached then we go take neoprints. on the way esther kept talking about some girl in her class whose neck very long then run very funny. her action so funny la. then me and steph laugh laugh laugh. =D the neoprint taking part was so crazy. do so many funny actions. we took twice i think. LOL. ^^ after that, vic had to leave for raffles city where her family was so she went off first. then we went to KINO to see see. silei, as usual go look at mags la. then me and bundy so bored. in the end all of us(except me) buy drinks from the food court. then rach and bundy left.

NEXT PART was so crazy.

left with me silei steph and esther. we dined at yoshinoya then si lei kept saying GO DIE la. then everytime something was so irritating she kept saying go die la. hahaha. so we used the coupons to purchase the food. then si lei and steph give me wrong coupon. diao. then i had to tell the person that is wrong. okay, then we ate took like 1hour. the drinks they bought from the fd court they put in a plastic bag and drink. right. so esther started talking crap then i laughed like siao, until stomach pain. then silei kept looking at the wall when she laughed. i think esther spoke about her classmate picking her nose and lots of other rubbish. then we talked about leon and some girl looking down. DAMN funny. then steph laugh until she spit out all her drink. then si lei wanted to eat the scallop thing but then she laughing then the whole thing dropped out. i laugh until cannot breathe. everyone was staring at us i think. after bouts and bouts of even more craziness we decided to take more neos again.

then take take take, got one is on the roller coaster then they let us take so many times then become gor a lot of our faces repeated on it. super humourous. then one is bathtub one like we in the bathtub. and then another is broomstick. LOL. then my body parts kept appearing out of no where, like my hand not connected to my body. ROFL. si lei tried to disfigure herself on the bath tub thing cause she said she look very weird. then take again.

it was like 8.30 when we finished. so i asked my dad to pick everyone up. while waiting they all kept dancing dunno what dance. so retarded. and funny. cant seem to think of other words to substitute funny. the esther danced some weird weird dance then everyone laughed. people around us thought we mental or something. esther and steph danced some sexy dance then si lei said later people think you prostitute then ask you. then esther was like twenty dollars twenty dollars. HAHAHAHAHAAHA. funny. funn. fun.

yeah and then thats all, on how rason's sucky bday party turned out to be great after we left it for our own fun.

RASON'S PARTY SUCKED BUT WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THE PARTY ROCKED. A lot and a lot and a lot. Screw the party. Okay, I shall blog about it tomorrow. When I have more time.

Ahaha. I multi-tasked just now. So fun. During the mini conference for the ipw. I was:
1. Chatting with cat and jo separately
2. Chatting with lucas, trying to receive smth
3. Chatting with julene
4. Attemting to read singyi's whole blog
5. Tagging at julene's blog
6. Listening to 987top20 countdown
And in the midst of all this, I could go down and join my bro and dad in this mini penalty shots game , with me as the goalie and the cushie as the ball. And I'm still ALIVE, had a break, had a kitkat. :))

YAY!!! MY
SCREWED PHONE WORKS. Like, finally. this morning when I switched on my hp, the smses came bombarding my phone continuously. Ahahaha. All of yesterday's.

And yesterday's convo was so FUNNY.hahaha.haha.ha.wooh.esther stop calling me that. == double eyelids.

EFFING HADPHONE

go and die please. WTF. I COULDNT RECEIVE ANY SMSES TODAAAYYY!!!!!! ARH. like, wtf is up with my DAMN phone?? and then i thought everyone hate me for no reason coz NO REPLIES. oomph. i CANNOTstand it. yushu, did your handphone send me some virus of any sort? & then i thought there was not enough memory so i deleted 1700++ smses and now my inbox is empty!!!! after that NOTHING HAPPENED even after i asked yushu to send me something. WTFWTFWTFWTFWFTWFTWTF!!!!! I WANT MY SMSES BAAACK!!!!!! oomph.

and JULENE? ive relinked you. rejoice, pls.

If you asked me just now if a glass of water was half filled of half empty, I would choose the latter.but I'm okay now. :) just now I was bloody bored ok.and I was feeling so sick of everything. No, not suicidal, mind you. Just sick of everything. And zuowen shall forever be NOT OKAY. There's compre test on thurs. Kill. Me. Now. Finallly finished the alex rider series!! Yay. TIP of the day: never shop alone--it will bore you to death.(Well, if you are me, that is.)